Steady Until Sunset: Remembering Larry Gene Vaughn

Larry Vaughn

In the 17thchapter of the Book of Exodus we read the amazing story of how the Israelites defeated of their enemy, the Amaleks. The Amaleks were a group of nomads who attacked the Hebrews in the desert of Mount Sinai during the Exodus from Egyptian slavery. The Amaleks swooped in on the Israelites and cowardly killed those who were lagging behind.

For that is what the enemies of life do. For some the enemy is cancer. For some it is diabetes, renal failure and heart disease.

And when the enemies of this life attack us, we are faced with a choice. We can surrender to our enemies; we can succumb to their attacks; we can bemoan or whine, or we can stand our ground and fight.

Moses said to Joshua, ‘Choose some men for us and go out; and fight with Amalek.’

This week, I have heard more than one person say that they had no idea Larry had the health issues that he had or that Larry must have had more health problems than he let on.

Because Larry was always so positive. Always upbeat, steady. Although he spent five hours a day, three days a week in a dialysis unit, he never complained.

He knew he had an amazing life. He was grateful to have had the opportunity to spend time in over 40 countries through the Oil and Gas industry, to learn different customs and to appreciate different traditions. I love listening to his stories, especially the way he would describe the beauty of wildlife in different parts of the world and the food he enjoyed while traveling. Always remaining true to his positive spirit, every steak he ate was the best piece of beef, and every deer he saw was a monster.

Many men in Larry’s health surrender and succumb to such illnesses. They lose strength within to fight, to continue living, to continue working. They can reach down and dig deep; however, there is just nothing left. No amount of digging will see them through.

However, men with faith in the God of Abraham and Isaac, Moses and Joshua, men with faith in the God, understand that true strength does not come from within, but comes from and by the grace of God.

Moses said to Joshua:

Choose an army and fight. I, myself, retired a long time ago from fighting. I am too old, too tired, but I will stand on the top of a hill and raise the staff of God with my hands and summon the grace and strength of God to defeat our enemy.

So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of a hill. 

Whenever Moses held up his hand, Moses noticed that Israel prevailed; and whenever he lowered his hand, he noticed that Amalek prevailed. [This was a certain sign that it was God, and God alone, who was giving the Israelites the grace, perseverance and strength to defeat their enemy].

I don’t believe can be no other explanation for the optimism and positive spirit of Larry Vaughn considering his poor health. It was more than some inborn competitive sprit or personal determination, drive or grit. It was something divine.

Larry simply never quit. He kept persevering. He kept fighting. He wanted to do whatever he could to keep to keep living, to keep working, to keep hunting, to keep being there for his family and friends. “Oh, to do that, I need to have a triple bypass and possibly a valve replacement to be on the kidney donor list. Ok, sign me up!”

Many studies have been made to identify symptoms of depression or the giving up on life. People who give up and surrender to the enemies of life become detached and disengaged from the world around them. They no longer care what their neighbors are up to. They begin to ignore their children and their grandchildren. They stop communicating with their spouse, and most certainly with their ex-spouse. They become disinterested in their church.  And they stop paying attention to the news and to sports.

Although dialysis took a toll on Larry, he possessed any of these symptoms. Larry enjoyed his evenings with Elizabeth, watching the news, the wheel of fortune and a movie. He was forever selflessly doing things for his Jason and Jordon, always finding time to do things with and for Grayson. Through thick and thin, he never missed a day without checking in with them. Just as he did throughout his life, no matter where he was.

He was not only interested in his church, attending every Sunday, but he was even interested in his pastor. He kept up with my work with persons with special needs through Ainsley’s Angels on facebook. He became especially concerned about me when he discovered that I had not been hunting since 1993. So concerned, that he scheduled us a dove hunting adventure for the first of September.

He cared about what was going on in the world, and he was in no way, shape or form disengaged from sports. He continued to follow his alma mater Arkansas Tech in sports and loved watching Razorback game.

It was obvious to everyone that knew Larry, that he never gave up. For as Isaiah 40:29 reads, Larry was a living testimony that “God gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might God increases power.” And in the 73rdPsalm we read: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Larry Vaughn was a living example to all of this great truth.

That’s why so many of us were left scratching our heads when we learned of his passing. We simply had no idea that he was so sick.

Our story continues in Exodus:

But Moses’ hands grew weary; so Aaron and Hur took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur held up the hands of Moses, Aaron on one side and Hur on the other, and the hands of Moses were steady until the sun set.

God has always used others to do God’s work in this world. God calls each of us to minister to one another. God uses us to supply God’s strength to those who are weak, to keep them steady, to help them fight the good fight, to finish the race. Such was the case in this victory of Amalek. Moses did not possess the strength to keep his hands raised through the duration of the battle, so God sent him Aaron and Hur who brought him a rock to sit upon and then held up each of his hands.

God also sent Larry others to give him support when he was the most weary.

Last week, when Larry needed support, God sent him good friends, Dr. Dana Rabideau and Wayne Wright who who traveled great distances to be with him. They were so faithful to him. And of course, his twin brother Jerry, who had been a part of Larry his entire life, was there with Susie letting Larry know that he was loved. As was his companion Elizabeth. Divorced, but still together, until death parted them.

Larry and Jerry love to tell stories about them fighting and whipping one another. Jerry talks about beating him up during the day and Larry sucker punching him while he slept at night. Jerry talks about one incidence when Larry stabed him in the leg with a knife during a competitive game of Mumble Peg. Jordon remembers the two of them wrestling, trying to get the best of each other, in the White River. But more often than they were horsing around and competing with one another, they were supporting one another. They were loving one another. And in the end, Jerry, you were there for him.

You could say that you brought your brother Larry a rock to St. John’s Hospital in Tulsa to steady his hands until the sun set. And together with Elizabeth, Dana and Wayne, you were to Larry like Aaron and Hur were to Moses.

And the hands of Moses were steady until the sun set. And Joshua defeated Amalek and his army.

And the good news for us today is, that this same God, the God of Abraham and Isaac, the God of Moses and Joshua, the God revealed in the Risen Christ and in the life of Larry Vaughn, will give us strength in our grief, joy in our suffering and grace in our lives. God will send others: friends and family and church members to hold our hands, to keep them steady, until the sun sets, until the battle is won.

But the really good news is that the final battle, the battle with life’s final enemy has already been won. As Paul wrote to the Corinthians: “Death has been swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? Where is your sting?”

The good news for all of us today is that as God has stood by Larry and gave him strength to battle the enemies of life, through our resurrected Lord, God has defeated death, and Larry is now and forever with his Lord.

May this good news help us now to live our lives as Larry lived his: Persevering with the strength of God, receiving help from friends and family who provide us a rock, living with the steady purpose of sharing the joy and the hope of the Lord with all people, until the sun sets here and rises forever in eternity. Amen.

Poetry in Motion: Remembering Mary Jane Tyler

mary-tyler-fort-smith-ar-obituary

When a lawyer asked Jesus what he must do to inherit life, Jesus responded my telling the story that we call “the Parable of the Good Samaritan.” After he tells of the one who selflessly acted like a loving neighbor to one in need, Jesus then tells the lawyer: “If you want to inherit eternal life, then go and do likewise.

I have always found it interesting that the Greek word for “do” in this text is poiei.  Jesus says to go and poiei.  I find this interesting because this wordpoieiis related to our English word, poem.  It means poetry. 

            Poetry is something that that has been fashioned, something beautiful made by human creativity.  A poem is something beautiful that has been made with words, something “done” with words that has deep, lasting meaning.

To be with God, Jesus said, “You must go and poiei.” You must go and poieilike this Samaritan. You must become a poem. If you want to experience life abundant and eternal, says Jesus, you must become poetry in motion.  You must fashion your life in such a way that the way you live, the way you work, the way you serve, the way you love, all that you do, becomes a living poem, becomes a beautiful hymn of praise to God—one that lifts up the fallen, pours expensive oil on their wounds, bandages their hurts, gets them more help if needed, and pays their debts.

Do you want to experience life that endures forever? Then go and live a beautiful poem of selflessness and sacrifice.

This is how many of us will remember Mary Jane Tyler. She was poetry in motion.

Most are aware that the Bible contains a collection of beautiful poetry that we call the Psalms. Thus, it should not surprise us to learn that Mary Jane’s favorite Bible verse was a Psalm.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come into his presence with singing.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is he that made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise.
Give thanks to him, bless his name.
For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures for ever,
and his faithfulness to all generations (Psalm 100).

This was not only the favorite scripture of Mary Jane’s life, but I believe it is fair to say that this was Mary Jane’s life. Her life was no less than a living Psalm of praise to God.

The joyful noise that Mary Jane shared with the First Christian Church in Fort Smith still rings in this sanctuary every almost every Sunday through our hand bell choirs that were at one time under her direction.

Because her life was a living Psalm, Mary Jane gave this world many good gifts.

When I asked Steven to send me an email naming the one special gift that he received from his mother for which he is most thankful, he couldn’t name one. He sent an email naming FIVE special gifts! And not surprisingly, each of the gifts he listed are the subject of numerous Psalms.

In that email, Steven wrote:

“I will always be grateful for her love of nature and for the natural beauty of the world: whether it was birds in the backyard, sunsets on the beach, hikes to a waterfall or flowers in the garden.”

Mary understood with the Psalmist that “the heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands” (Psalm 19:1).

In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land (Psalm 95:4-5).

How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number – living things both large and small (Psalm 104:24-25).

With the Psalmist, Mary Jane’s life on earth was a continual song of praise:

Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy (Psalm 96:11-12).

Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens… When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? (Psalm 8:1, 3-4)

Secondly, Steven writes that he will forever be grateful for her love of learning something new and the value of being a lifelong learner.

Again, it is the Psalmist who reminds us:

A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90).

Joel Dorman has written:

When we are lifelong learners, we keep the wonder of the moments. [Thus, we are able to see the world through fresh eyes every morning. Sunsets and sunrises are more strikingly breathtaking. We are pilgrims in a journey called ‘existence,’ and we operate in an intentional and purposeful manner to slow down, look up, and show others the hope inside of us.

Mostly, when we “number our days” we keep God in God’s rightful place: [and that is] first.  There is an active, continuous recognition that these seventy to eighty [or 90] on Earth is not all there is.  There is a conscious connection to our eternal destiny.  When God is first, we can fully understand the words of our Lord’s half-brother, James, who wrote, ‘Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.’

Thirdly, Steven writes that he will always cherish Mary’s love of travel and the kind of experiences that change you and how you see the world.

It was Mark Twain who wisely said:

            Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

No wonder in Psalm 10, we read these wise words:

From now on every road you travel will take you to God. (MSG)

Mary Jane understood that to celebrate the diversity of humankind is to celebrate divinity, as each person on this planet was made in the image of God.

Therefore, it does not surprise any of us who knew Mary Jane that Steven says that the fourth gift of his mother that he will always be thankful for is how she modeled the importance of being a volunteer in social justice causes, [through her involvement] in local organizations, and her church.  

As the Mary Jane observed the injustice and inequality of this world, with the Psalmist, she lamented:

How long will you defend the unjust

and show partiality to the wicked?

Defend the weak and the fatherless;

uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

Rescue the weak and the needy;

deliver them from the hand of the wicked (Psalm 82).

Lastly, Steven writes that he will forever cherish the reality that his mother had the kind of love inside her that enabled her to be a peacemaker.

“We need more peacemakers in this world,” she would say.

“That’s a gift I’m still working on,” says Steven.

In a world fraught with so much so much fear and division, violence and hate, oh, isn’t this a gift we all should work more on? For what this world needs perhaps more than anything else is more peacemakers like Mary Jane.

Of course it was Jesus who said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.”Peace it what was proclaimed at his birth by the angels: “Glory to the God in the highest and on earth, peace!”

And it what he proclaimed every time he talked about leaving them:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

It was the first blessed word that he spoke to his disciples on Easter morning:  “PEACE!” “Peace be with you!”

But long before Jesus, it was the Psalmist who declared:

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace (Psalm 29:11).

Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34:14).

Consider the blameless, observe the upright; a future awaits those who seek peace (Psalm 37:37).

Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble (Psalm 119:165).

And the good news is:

Because Mary Jane sought peace, when she needed peace the most, she received it. Because Mary herself was a Psalter of peace, because she followed her Lord who said that if we want to be with God we must go and poiei, because she fashioned her life in such a way that all she did became poetry in motion, a beautiful hymn of praise to God, as I visited with her in the nursing home under hospice care about a week before she died, it was obvious, that although she was in the valley of the shadow of the death, she feared no evil. It was obvious that she knew her Lord with with her. Her good Shepherd’s rod and staff were comforting her.

After we prayed together, she thanked me. She then closed her eyes and slept, no doubt dreaming of green pastures and still waters.

And today, her cup surely runneth over with goodness as she dwells in the house of the Lord forever.

I would like to conclude the service this morning with a note written by Mary Jane, as I believe she may have written it for each one of us who are here today.

As I’ve thought about the meaning of life, many scriptures and writings have influenced me through the years, there are two that have accompanied me:

Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer:

God, grant us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.

And this verse by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

To laugh often and much;

to win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children;

to earn the appreciation of honest critics’

and endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate the beauty,

to find the best in others,

to leave the world a little better,

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch or a redeemed social condition,

to know even one life has breathed easier

because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

Gratitude Is Enough: Remembering Daniel Wald

Dan Wald

As a pastor, I have observed that there are basically two types of people in this world. I am aware this is terrible over-simplification, but I believe there is some truth in it nonetheless.

There are those who get it, and those do don’t. There are people in this world who get it, I mean, they really get it. And it is obvious to everyone, in everything that they do, how they live, how they work and how they love, that they got it. And then there are those who do not a have a clue, and it is just as obvious.

There are those who get that all of life is grace. And there are those who don’t get it.

There are those who truly understand that life, this beautiful world, is but a free, unearned, undeserved gift of God’s amazing grace, and there are those who act as if God and the world owe them something.

Dan Wald got it. He really got it. And it was obvious to everyone.

Meister Eckhart once said: “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ it will be enough.”

Sadly, there are many people who go through their entire life without expressing in word or deed any real sense of gratitude. There are some who might pray for an hour on Sunday morning in church, and then there are those like Dan who live a life of prayer, who heed the words of the Apostle Paul to the Thessalonians to “pray without ceasing and to give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” And to the Ephesians: “always give thanks to God for everything.” And to the Colossians: “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father.”

Dan got this. And because he got it, his family, his friends and this city are better for it. Here are seven observations that I believe indicate that Dan’s perpetual prayer was, “Thank you.”

  • Gratitude instills a sense of personal responsibility.

With any gift comes responsibility. When I asked Evelyn, Ashley, Ryan, Courtney and Stephany: “When you remember your father and your husband, what is the one thing for which you are the most grateful?” They said they were most grateful for the way he taught them with his words and deeds personal responsibility. This is not surprising, because when one truly gets that all of life is a gift of grace, that they did nothing to earn their lives, did nothing to deserve to be born, I believe one tends to value life more appreciate it more, and to do whatever they can to make the most out of it, to be responsible with it, and to teach others to do the same.

  • Gratitude instills a staunch work ethic.

Dan was fond of saying: “You don’t have to go to work. You get to go to work!”

People who fail to comprehend the grace of it all, that all is gift, often act as if the world or someone owes them something. So they go through life with a sense of entitlement. On the other hand, someone who gets the grace of it all, that all is gift, unearned and underserved, go through life possessing such a debt of gratitude that they are more than willing to work hard and give back whenever and however they can.

  • Gratitude instills a profound curiosity.

When one is grateful for this mysterious gift we call life, one has such an appreciation for the world that they want to discover as much as they possibly can. They continually desire to gather more information, to study new ideas and to gravitate to new experiences.

This is perhaps why Dan taught himself to be a master multi-tasker. Dan could carry on a conversation with you, and you would never know that through his Bluetooth earbud he was also listening to a news report or a debate on talk radio or a ball game on the sports channel. He was always reading, forever learning, constantly figuring things out.

No one is surprised to learn that he owned one of the earliest computers. He calculated and figured on that thing, while watching a Razorback baseball game, at the same time listening to his weather radio and a Patsy Cline album all the while he conversed with Evelyn about what happened at the store that day.

His children thought he was crazy twenty years ago when he said told them said: “In twenty years we are all going to be carrying TVs in our pockets! And it will also be your phone, camera and computer!

Whatever needed to be fixed, Dan learned how to fix it. Dan was a self-made maker. He taught himself how to make or build anything from a Razorback rocking horse (I guess that is called a “rocking hog” though, wooden puzzles and all kinds of toys for his kids and grandchildren, to furniture, to even a house.

Because of his appreciation for life, because his desire to learn so great, his main concern the last time he was discharged from the hospital a couple of weeks ago was not so much about the possibility of having another stroke, but whether or not he was going to get home in time to watch Jeopardy!

  • Gratitude instills kindness towards others

When one is grateful, when one knows they did not earn or deserve to be born, especially healthy and whole into a good family, one is especially considerate of those who are less fortunate. When he was younger, he had a friend who only had one hand, but who liked to shoot pool. So, to play fair, Dan taught himself to shoot pool with one hand.

When playing games with his children, he would always play with one hand or left-handed to even the playing field. I am not sure what he did, if anything, to even the field though with Dominoes or Chess.

This kindness he exhibited toward others made Dan a good listener, never quick to speak, always choosing his words carefully before speaking. He was respectful to all, to all creeds, all beliefs, all faiths, “to each his own,” he liked to say.

  • Gratitude instills a love for life itself

Frederick Buechner has written: “if you really keep your eyes peeled to it and your ears open, if you really pay attention to it, even in the most limited situations, God through life itself has something to teach you.”  “Taking your children to school.  Kissing your wife goodbye.  Eating lunch with a friend.  Trying to do a decent day’s work.  Hearing the rain patter against the window. There is no event so commonplace that God is not present within it, always hiddenly, always leaving room to recognize him or not to recognize him, but all the more fascinatingly because of that, all the more compellingly and hauntingly.”

“If I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything I was trying to say as a novelist and a preacher it would be something like this:  Listen to your life.  See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.  In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis, all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

I believe this is exactly how Dan regarded his life. To Dan, vanilla soft-served ice cream on a cruise ship was divine. Blue Bell Moo Bars were holy. Evelyn said if she caught him eating more than one and ask, “Dan, how many are you going to eat?” He would reply: “As many as I want.”

Sweet tea, fresh sweet tea, in a paper cup, not plastic, was sacred. It’s all grace. Snow skiing, water skiing, scuba-diving, white water kayaking, bowling, classic country music, Ribs, brisket or pork in a smoker, sharing it his family—heavenly. Cooking enough for the neighbors— sanctified.

  • Gratitude instills a love beyond self

After Joseph, his father, passed away in early 1997, Danny, keeping a promise he had made earlier to him, was selflessly committed to LaRue, his mother. When she had to stop driving in 2010, Danny would get her ever morning to take her to work. They would often go to lunch together. When her health began to worsen, and she had a difficult time supporting herself and walking, knowing that work was her life and she would be miserable at home, when Danny would walk with her into the shop, he would often carry her purse as she used a walker.

One day, Danny’s sister LaBeth took their mom shopping in NW Arkansas where she fell in love this orange purse. LaRue wanted to get it but she said, “I don’t know what Danny is going to think about having to carrying this orange purse for me!” Of course, Danny was honored to carry it.

Family always came first. Throughout his life, Dan continually put the needs of his family ahead of his own. As a Scout leader with Ryan from Tiger Cubs, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts all the way until he made Eagle Scout and then continuing for some time afterwards, Dan was always there teaching his children sacred values while teaching countless young men appreciation for God’s creation.

Evelyn called him a “Mr. Mom.” For when she worked as a nurse, he was happy as he could be to get the kids dressed, ready and to school. And he always made sure they had a hearty breakfast as they would always stop by Hardee’s or the doughnut shop along the way.  Evelyn said that Dan never complained tying the girls’ ties and ponytails.

Even during his recent hospital stay, he was thinking about his children and grandchildren, concerned about them driving home, checking the APP on his phone to determine if they made it home safely, wondering if the grandkids were getting their ice cream.

  • Gratitude instills a peace beyond understanding

When one understands that all of life is gift, one has nothing to complain about, nothing to be bitter, angry or resentful about. Even as a young 50-year old, diagnosed with multiple myeloma, Dan remained positive. Having to relocate to Little Rock for treatments everyday for 6 weeks, go through a stem cell transplant, chemotherapy, and the loss of hair, whatever trial Dan experienced, Dan remained hopeful and upbeat. He continued living, continued enjoying life, continued inhaling the grace of it all, scuba diving in Aruba, St. Thomas, and the Keys. And in 2008, he beat it that cancer.

And it seems to me that this was his same attitude during each recent stroke, calm, cool, collected and steadily positive. Without a hint of complaining in his voice, but with almost an excitement: “I am getting a little feeling back in my leg! Let’s do some rehab!”

There was never any complaining, no “woe is me.” No pity party.

Although we are not able to ask him how he remained so positive right up to the end, I believe he would respond with something like, “You know, I didn’t do anything to earn 64 minutes in this world, but I got 64 years. I have nothing to complain about.”

And, the good news is I believe Dan has taught all of us how to deal with our grief today.

Instead of complaining and being bitter over the years disease took from our father, grandfather, brother, husband and friend, Dan taught us to be grateful for every sacred minute we had with him. For each moment was underserved and unearned.

Thus, in what may seem very strange at first, each time the waves of grief come, we can stop and thank God for our grief. For grieving only means that we have lost someone wonderful—someone we did not deserve to have, a free gift of God’s amazing grace: “Thank you God, Daddy, for Danny, for Dan Wald.

And the good news is, even when the shadows of grief overwhelm us, saying that little prayer, “Thank You” will somehow, some miraculous way, be enough. Amen.

Home by Another Way: Remembering Harold Stewart

harold stewart pic
July 17, 1946 – January 1, 2019

As evidenced by the attendance here this morning, the shocking news of Harold’s passing has been devastating to many.

We did receive some comforting words. Harold did not suffer. There was no prolonged illness, no pain, no struggle. Harold was given the opportunity to celebrate Christmas with loved ones here in Fort Smith and then in Nebraska. Harold was happy. He was full and content.

But then we received a dreadful word, a word that was difficult for us to hear, that that his wife Audrey, whom we all know he adored, had to drive home from Nebraska all by herself as Harold’s body was sent home by another way.

“Home by another way.” Those are the exact words Matthew uses in yesterday’s gospel lesson to describe the journey of the Wise Men after they worshiped Jesus, laying down their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Having been warned in a dream not to return to King Herod, we are told that they went “home by another way.”

“Going home” is of course how we like to talk about death. We find great comfort in the old hymn:

O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal home.

“Home” is being with God. It is a place of perpetual belonging, acceptance, comfort and love. It is a place of eternal rest and peace.

In his book of Revelation, John described it this way:

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

See, the home of God is among mortals.

God will dwell with them;

they will be God’s peoples,

and God himself will be with them;

God will wipe every tear from their eyes.

Death will be no more;

mourning and crying and pain will be no more,

for the first things have passed away (Revelation 21).

So, in a way, going home is the goal of every believer. And as Christians, we believe that how we get there, how we go home, matters.

Do we go home following the instructions of King Herod? Do we go home by collaborating with the empire? Or do we go home by another way?

Do we go home following the way of greed and power, the way of self-centeredness and fear, the way of deceit and cowardice, the way of exclusion and isolation? Or do we go home by another way?

I believe the most comforting word, the most hopeful word for us this morning was what we first thought was a most dreadful word: “Harold went home by another way.”

As Christians, we believe Jesus showed us the way, the truth and the life, the very narrow, yet broad and expansive way home.

Matthew writes:

One day Jesus was teaching a large crowd of people. While he was still speaking, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone said to him, ‘Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’

But Jesus replied, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mothers and my brothers!’ (Matthew 12:46-50).

In other words Jesus said, “here is my home, here is my family.”

I believe this story reveals that Jesus had a much broader, more expansive definition of home and family than we often do.

This, of course is why Gentile Wise Ones from the East were guided by that star to worship the Jewish Christ child: The people of God, the family of God, extends beyond Israel, and includes all people.

And so it was with Harold.

If I said to you, “Harold sure did love cooking for his family.” Your first response would probably be: “Which family are you talking about?”

Are you talking about the Stewart family? Or are you talking about his family at the Elks Lodge? Perhaps you are you talking about his family at First Christian Church?

Someone told me that he left Mike and Jane one of his famous pizzas in the fridge before he and Audrey left for Nebraska. That was so Harold. As his mother Roberta Ray used to always say: “It is very difficult to get Harold out of the kitchen!”

Harold also loved to make his pizza monthly for his Elks lodge family. And each time Harold invited me to the lodge and introduced me to other lodge members, it was obvious to me that he was introducing me to his home away from home. During the fish fry, he introduced me to his son Mike and daughter-in-law Jane, but he also introduced me to countless sisters and brothers. Chris Perry has written that Harold’s example and leadership is the reason they like to say that the “Elks Loge 341 is the friendliest little Elks Lodge in America.” That is because they are truly a family.

And of course this church was the beneficiary of having a brother named Harold in our family. Our brother Harold spoiled us with that infamous pizza recipe, the juiciest hamburgers you have ever tasted, unbelievable pulled-pork barbeque, and most recently, a Christmas dinner that featured a prime rib that Steve Riggs described best as “crazy good.”

What if I said to you that “Harold loved being there for his family?”

Well, are you talking about his sons Brian and Mike? Are you talking about one of his six grandchildren or his great-grandson?

Are you talking about his family at Fort Smith Restaurant Supply? Are you talking about the names of the people with whom he worked that he would text to his pastor requesting prayer for them when they were sick, experienced a loss or had a need?

Or are you talking about a child he mentored for the last three years at Howard Elementary School? Are you talking about the 12-year-old boy he visited once a week, oftentimes bringing him lunch, building his self-esteem, encouraging him in his studies and teaching him the importance of values that he may not learn in the classroom, like looking someone in the eyes while giving them a firm handshake?

Or are you talking about one of the children at the church who he made an effort to greet every Sunday morning before reaching in his pocket and giving them a piece of candy.

Yes, the good news is that Harold certainly went home by another way.

Speaking of going home by another way, it is no secret that Harold could literally build a home. His sons describe him as the best teacher they ever had. They even built an entire house together on Ten Killer Lake. Harold taught them how to do everything, from carpentry, duct work, heat and air, plumbing to laying tile and flooring. They said Harold knew how to crack a whip in such away that you never even knew there was a whip.

Harold could fix anything. His son Brian recalls that anytime he or Mike ever had a problem with their house, whether it be carpentry, plumbing, heating or air, all they had to do was call Dad. They said: “And it seemed like it was before we get the phone hung up the doorbell would ring and there would be Dad, standing there wearing a tool-belt around his waist and light on his head.”

With Harold, anytime something would break, his family said they never called a professional. They called Harold. Just like we did here at the church. Just like I am sure they did at the Elks Lodge.

Yes, more than anyone we know, Harold went home by another way.

Yesterday, someone asked Audrey: “How in the world did you drive home all by yourself?” She replied: “I had a good teacher.”

We all know how he absolutely adored and cherished his wife of 38 years, Audrey, but the love he expressed to Audrey always seemed to have an even higher purpose. For me it was like he was modeling for others what love looks like, what being a true gentleman looks like, what being an authentic disciple of Christ looks like.

As I watched him each Sunday morning, walking into the church building holding Audrey’s hand, opening the car door for her after church—it was as if he loved her as an example to the world how we ought to love one another.

Perhaps that is exactly what Harold was doing. Harold was not only a mentor to a young man at the Howard Elementary. He was trying to teach us all how to be wise men and wise women and go home by another way.

He was teaching us how share the inclusive, expansive love of God with all people; how to see and treat all people as children of God, as sisters and brothers; how to leave this world a better place than we found it.

Yes, as his sons have said, Harold was one of the best teachers we have ever had, for he taught us all how to be wise men and wise women by avoiding the way of King Herod that so many seem to be taking these days, and instead, choose another way:

the way of chivalry over the way of indecency,

the way of love over the way of indifference,

the way of compassion over the way of apathy,

the way of sacrifice over the way of self-centeredness,

the way of inclusion over the way of fear,

and the way of calmness and peace over the way of stress and worry.

And when we choose to go home by this way, not only will we change the world and leave this world a better place than we found it, we can rest assured that like Harold, we will see that the home of God is among mortals. With Harold, we will dwell with God and be God’s peoples. God God’s self will be with us.

To wipe every tear from our eyes.

Death will be no more;

mourning and crying and pain will be no more,

for the first things have passed away.’

There is a great old hymn with beautiful words that describes what Harold experienced the first day of this new year.

Just think of what it must be like to step on shore and finding it heaven,

Of taking hold of a hand and finding it God’s hand.

Of breathing a new air and finding it celestial air,

Of feeling invigorated and finding it immortality

Of passing from storm and tempest into an unbroken calm,

Of looking up and finding it home.

A Glimpse of Heaven: Remembering Janice Rickman

Janice Rickmans Tie Dye Moment
May 24, 1946 – Dec. 8, 2018

One of my favorite authors and preachers, Frederick Buechner, has wondered what Heaven is like. With me, he believes we can get a foretaste of heaven right here on earth.  Buechner writes: “To speak of ‘heavenly’ music or a ‘heavenly’ day isn’t always to gush but sometimes to catch a glimpse of something.”

Upon experiencing something that is soooo good, perhaps we have all said, “Ahhhh! This is heaven!”  A bite of chocolate cake. A warm cookie with cold milk.  A lover’s touch.  A faithful friend.  A child’s hug.  A walk on a beach or in the snow. Resting one’s head on your mother’s shoulders. Undeserved forgiveness.  Unconditional love.  Unwavering devotion. Unexplained strength.

I heard a another preacher describe it this way: Heaven is sort of like this perfect room on the second floor of the house. It is a room upstairs where we are not yet permitted to enter from our position in a room here on the first floor.

However, there is this small, tiny hole in the ceiling of our room. And if we position ourselves just so under that hole.  At just the right angle.  At just the right moment.  If the light is just so. The shadows fade and we can see a little of that room. We can catch a glimpse of Heaven.

Greta will tell you that one thing that she will never forget is her mother recalling the moments after Greta was born, and specifically that moment Janice held her for the first time. As soon as the doctor handed Greta to her, as she held Greta in her arms, pressed her lips to kiss Greta’s forehead, and said Greta was “as warm as toast.”

Greta, you will always remember that, because your mother was describing a moment for her that was nothing less than heavenly. As she held you in her arms, as she loved you as she loved Bradley and Sarah, with a love that was out of this world, that hole in the ceiling got a lot larger for your mother. The light got just right, the shadows faded and heaven came down.

The Bible paints many portraits of the widening of this hole in the ceiling.

The prophet Isaiah prays for such widening:

Shower, O heavens, from above,

and let the skies rain down righteousness;

let the earth open, that salvation may spring up,

and let it cause righteousness to sprout up also;

I the Lord have created it. (Isa 45).

Ezekiel writes about the glimpses of heaven he experienced:

In the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, on the fifth day of the month, as I was among the exiles by the river Chebar, the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God. (Ezekiel 1).

Malachi talks about opening a window to heaven,

…see if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you an overflowing blessing (Malachi 3).

John talks about opening a door to heaven:

After this I looked, and there in heaven a door stood open! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, ‘Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this’ (Revelation 4).

And then we have those beautiful recollections of Jesus’ baptism as the Gospel Writers describe the heavens opening up. Mark literally says the heavens were “ripped apart” as the Spirit of God descended like a dove.

Greta and Sarah, I do not believe either one of you will ever forget the many ways that your mother helped to open up the heavens for you, to make that tiny hole in the ceiling a little wider, to move you to just the right position, to be in just the right light, at just the right angle, for the many times she caused heaven to only open but to actually come down so close to earth that you could feel it, hear it, smell it, and touch it.

When we study the Bible, from the enslavement of the Israelites in Egypt, through the occupation of Israel by Babylon, to the oppression of Christians by the Roman Empire—from the tribulations of Job, the persecution of Daniel, through the arrest and crucifixion of Jesus, to the trials and hardships of the Apostles Paul and John, the one theme that is constant is the divine strength, the holy resoluteness, the sacred presence of God in difficult times.

Greta and Sarah, you and Bradley, all of her grandchildren have witnessed this miraculous strength in ways that you are still trying to, but may never comprehend. Whatever storm came her way, divorce, death and disease, her love for you never failed, in fact, it never even wavered. Her love for you was indeed out of this world. No matter her circumstance she was always there with you, never away from you, always for you, never against you.

She possessed this supernatural strength, this holy fire, this divine determination to always be there to give any of you what you needed. Janice became a single-parent when Bradley was 11, Sarah was 9 and Greta was 2, and although she experienced the grief and sorrow of divorce, she never let you kids see it. She remained dedicated to her job as a legal Clerk and later with ABF to make sure that your needs were always met. If she ever went into her room, closed the door and cried, you never knew it. Her love was selfless. Her love was sacrificial. It was self-expending. It was heavenly. And there is no wonder that you look back on your childhood today, at her love and care and strength, and ponder, “How in the world did she do that?” In her strength, you were catching a glimpse of heaven.

During this Advent season, we celebrate another moment when the heavens were opened, when a choir of angels filled the skies to announce the birth of a baby.

John describes the announcement this way,

See what love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are (1 John 3:1).

Through the gift of a baby born in Bethlehem, we are all born into the family of God. Through this baby named Jesus, we have been made family.

For 20 years, Janice worked as a legal clerk here in Fort Smith. When she left that position to work for ABF, she grieved. Why? Because her co-workers there in the legal office had become family to her. The same thing happened while she was at ABF.

Janice was not a member of the church or the denomination with which I serve as pastor. She was a proud member of the Church of Christ.

When she first moved to Methodist Village, one of her big concerns was that they were going to make her a Methodist. To illustrate this, the first weekend she moved into Methodist Village this past April, they had a tornado warning. The protocol for a tornado warning is to place identification tags on a lanyard around the necks of all the residents. When they placed a name tag around Janice’s neck, she wasn’t so much concerned about the possible tornadoes as she was about her name being printed under the word “Methodist.” She took one look at her badge and said, “I knew it. They have made me Methodist!”

So when I would visit her at Methodist Village and others would ask her if I was her pastor, she would immediately respond: “Oh no. He is my daughter’s pastor.”

This makes it all the more special some of the last words she spoke to me. She looked up at me said, “I love you.” Janice loved me, not as her pastor, but as family.

With those three simple words, “I love you”, she moved me. She moved to just the right spot, to that spot where the light was just right, to that spot where the shadows faded, and just for a moment, I could see through that hole in the ceiling, and I caught a glimpse of heaven.

This is the power of love. Love has the power to make strangers family. Although we have different faiths and different beliefs, love has the power to unite us all as sisters and brothers.  And when we love one another like family, when we treat one another as sisters and brothers, the heavens are ripped apart!

Since I have been a pastor here in Fort Smith, I have been impressed with the quality of care and love I have witnessed through the good people who work and serve at Methodist Village. They truly love and care for the residents as family. So each time I go out there, every time I visit, I catch a glimpse of heaven.

As I’ve mentioned, when Janice first became a resident of Methodist Village, it took her a little while to accept it. At first, it was a strange place, a place where she did not belong. After all, as she would tell me, there were “old people” living there. She assumed that her stay there would only be temporary. She would get a little rehab and then go home.

So, who could blame her for not immediately embracing nursing home residency and all of the activities and programs they offered. When she first arrived, if you wanted to visit Janice, you knew that you could always find Janice in her room. She wouldn’t be in dining hall with the other residents tossing a bean bag or playing bingo.

One day, when Sarah came to visit, like always she went straight to her room, but Janice was not there. She walked down to the nurses’ station where they would sometimes seat her, but Janice was not there. She searched the entire facility until she finally asked someone for assistance.

They said, “Well, today is Tie Dye Day! Perhaps she is with the other residents making a Tie Dye!”

Sarah immediately responded, “Oh, I don’t think so.” But they went down to the dining room anyway where everyone was tie dyeing, and there she was.

She was sitting there wearing this tie dye wrap, or scarf, or hat that she had made on her head. And she was holding this clapper in one hand, this hand that made a clapping noise when you moved it back and forth.

She looked up at Sarah. And waving the clapper in one hand and holding up a peace sign with the other, giggled and said, “I am having a tie-dye moment! And I am ready to party.”

Sarah responded the way that most of us respond these days when we catch a glimpse of something like this, something beautiful, something fun, something that warms our heart and makes us smile, something that is soooo good that we can only describe it as heavenly.  She pulled out her phone and took a picture and sent it to Greta.

And the good news is that this picture of Janice having a tie-dye moment, is a picture of Janice today. Through the tiny hole in the ceiling, we can see her today, sitting in the banquet hall of heaven, surrounded by family including her son Bradley, enveloped by eternal love, encircled by amazing grace, giggling, clapping, partying.

And because of that, we who grieve today know we are going to be ok. Greta and Sarah are going to be fine. Her grandchildren are going to be fine. Not only because your mother and grandmother has given you some of her strength and love (after all, you said you only needed a piece of it to be ok), but because you will be able to always see her, she will always be with you, each time something moves you to just the right spot, at just the right angle, when the light is just right, and the shadows fade, and this warmth comes over you, as warm as toast.

 

Remembering Naomi Hatley: Things Are Not What They Appear to Be

Naomi Pic
Naomi Hatley
April 17, 1924 – November 16, 2018

Esther 9:20-23

John 16:20-24

The late Reverend Warren Carr, a friend of mine and mentor, once said that a person’s eulogy in a Christian memorial service should be limited to those aspects of a person’s life that proclaimed the gospel, proclaimed the message Jesus proclaimed.

The good news is that we have much to say about Naomi today for she proclaimed the message of Jesus in ways that Rob and I never could.

When many think about proclaiming Jesus, they might first think about preachers. However, as those words attributed to St. Francis, “Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words,” teach us, you don’t have to be preachy to preach.

Naomi was anything but preachy. Her faith was quietly practiced but deeply felt. Always self-effacing, she never imposed her faith on others.

However, her faithfulness was clearly evident to all. Many witnessed her faith through her active participation with this church as she led worship by singing in the choir and playing bells with the Primetime Ringers. She was an active member of the Christian Women’s Fellowship and possessed the heart of a servant, always enjoying potluck dinners and other fellowship occasions. When she could no longer drive to church, she had the church van pick her up at Butterfield Place so she could be here to faithfully worship and serve with her family of faith.

However, this was certainly not the only way that Naomi proclaimed the gospel.

It could be said that Jesus spent much of his ministry trying to teach us that things are not always as they appear to be. Sometimes reality is the exact reversal of actual appearances.

For example, Jesus said that those who appear to be last are actually first. And those who seem to be first are actually last.

In his first sermon, he said that it is not the rich who are blessed, it is the poor. It is the not the strong who inherit the earth, it is the meek. The Apostle Paul said it is not the wise who shame the foolish, but it is the foolish who shame the wise. It is the weak who shame the strong.

The gospel continually teaches us that things are not what they appear to be.

Of course, Naomi, first taught us this reality with her name.

It is not Nayomey or Nyomi.

It is Nayoma.

No matter how it is spelled, or what you’ve heard, or what you’ve read, no matter what you’ve seen or think you see and hear right now, things are not what they appear to be.

Naomi taught us this gospel truth in many other ways. Perhaps the the ways we will most remember, and for which we are most grateful, are the ways Naomi taught us, in the words of Ralph Sockman, that “nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength.”

If you thought Naomi was gentle and quiet, then you probably never watched a Dallas Cowboy or Arkansas Razorback football game with her.

If you thought Naomi was a non-athletic spectator, someone who sat serenely on the sidelines of life, you probably never saw her slalom waterski, which she did until the age of 69 when she fell and cracked three ribs.

If you thought Naomi was this prim and proper Southern Belle, you probably never saw her play in the waves of the ocean. You never heard her laugh like a child as the waves would crash over her head knocking her off her feet.

If you thought Naomi only enjoyed soft church music, the chimes of handbells, the harmonious sound of a choir, a piano and organ reverently praising God, then you’ve probably never been to an Eric Clapton concert with her.

If you thought her husband of 66 years Pete, with his large, confident personality was the rock of the family. Then you probably didn’t know Naomi as well as her children knew her, as one with an iron backbone in a fluffy coating.

If you thought Naomi might be a pushover, a softy, a patsy you were probably not raised by her and as one of her children never did anything or said anything that would make her chase you with a fly swatter.

And you probably did not do or say anything that caused any harm to any of her children, because you would have quickly discovered that, like a mama bear robbed of her cubs, you simply do not want to mess with Naomi.

Naomi was soft as a pillow, but she was hard as a rock.

Naomi was tenderly ladylike, but she was a tough old broad.

Naomi was humble and unassuming but the sound of her laughter, the melody of her heart, and loud reverberations of her spirt can still be heard today.

Like the good news of the gospel, things are not always what they appear to be.

Of course Jesus taught us this reality to lead and to guide us down a certain path, on a specific journey, on a particular and peculiar way:

A way where the hungry are filled with good things and the rich are sent away empty;

A way where those who mourn are comforted and the meek inherit the earth;

A way where those who are hungry and thirsty for justice are satisfied;

A way where those who show mercy because they know they need it for themselves receive mercy;

A way that those who may not be pure, undefiled and unbroken on the outside will see God.

It is a particular and peculiar way where peacemakers are called children of God, the blind see, the deaf hear, the lame walk and outcasts are included.

It is way that always graciously extends hospitality, always asking if you need anything to eat, something to drink, a time to rest.

Her children tell me that had to stop visiting their mother when it was mealtime at the nursing home. Because she would always try to share her food with them. No matter her circumstance, the needs of others came before her own. Whenever it appeared that you were the one being hospitable to her, being a blessing to her, she was actually being a blessing to you.

This is a way that sets a high bar in a culture that seems to have no bars, that offers a righteous morality in a culture influenced by a distorted morality, that teaches ethics rooted in a selfless, self-expending, self-effacing love for this world and every human being in a culture with ethics rooted in greed and self-interest.

Jesus also taught us that this particular, peculiar counter-cultural way is the way to life everlasting. To save ourselves, we must lose ourselves. To truly and fully live we must die. And all who embrace this way, live this way, though they are dead, live.

The good news is as Jesus and Naomi taught us, things today are not what they appear to be.

Four years ago, when Naomi broke her hip, and then suffered a stroke during surgery becoming wheel-chair bound and unable to communicate clearly, it appeared that her life was over. She had no reason to live, no reason to smile, and certainly no reason to play the piano.

However, this tender soul made even more tender by the difficulties of life was a tough old broad, under the fluffy and frail coating, an iron backbone was as strong as ever. Thus, Naomi continued to play that piano. She continued to live her life and she continued to be grateful and always found a reason to smile.

No, nothing in this world is what it appears to be. Nothing this hour is what it appears to be.

Naomi appears to spell her name Naomi yet it is Naomi.

Naomi appears to be buried in the National Cemetery, yet her music is still filling this sanctuary.

Naomi appears to be gone from our presence, yet her gifts live on through her children and grandchildren.

Naomi appears to be dead and no longer in our presence, yet those of us with faith know that she is alive and is in the presence of the Lord.

It appears to be a cold, dark, rainy day, but somehow, some miraculous way, the sun is shining.

When some learned of her passing, they may have thought about how losing someone during a holiday week makes it all the more heartbreaking. Families are supposed to be gathering together this week to celebrate life and to give thanks for the blessings of life. They are not supposed to be gathering for a memorial service.

But the good news is, things are not what they appear to be.

In the wonderful little book of Esther, we are told about the Persian Empire’s plot to destroy the Jewish people. Under Queen Esther’s leadership, the Persians are defeated and Israel was saved. Mordecai, who had adopted Esther, and raised her as if she was his own blood, decreed that the days had been transformed “from sorrow into gladness and from mourning into a holiday; that they should make them days of feasting and gladness…”

There is no doubt in my mind that on this day after Thanksgiving with Advent and Christmas approaching this family is going to be alright. Pray for them, but don’t despair for them. Console them, but don’t pity them. For if Naomi taught them anything, it is that these days are not as they appear. What is going on right now, today, this very hour, is not what it may appear.

Sorrow has been transformed into gladness. Pain has been turned into joy. A day of mourning has been transformed into a holiday, and everyday are becoming holy days. And because we believe what Naomi proclaimed with her life, this week of Thanksgiving will always be for her family days of feasting, gladness and celebration. Thanks be to God.

The Power to Heal the World – Remembering Dr. Trevor Soter John Hodge, MD

trevor-hodge-fort-smith-ar-obituary

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On behalf of the family of Dr. Trevor Hodge, I want to thank all of you for being here this morning.

Of course, I want to thank you for the way your presence here gives comfort to his family; but more than that, I want to thank you for the way I believe your presence here gives hope for the entire world!

For you have come here this morning to celebrate and to remember a life that was dedicated to loving and healing this world.

Every Sunday, our church gathers around this table to celebrate and remember the life of another who was also dedicated to loving and healing this world. We share bread. We drink from a cup, and we listen to his words: “Do this in remembrance of me.” If you want to celebrate my life, says Jesus, if you want to remember my life, then do this. Live on earth as I lived. Love the world as I loved. Welcome, accept, forgive, embrace, touch, and heal. Do this.

It is my hope that all who are here to remember and celebrate Trevor’s life understand that best way to do that, is to do it, to live and love as he lived and loved.

Because, my friends, that is what I believe our broken world needs now more than anything else. And I believe the love that Dr. Hodge shared with his patients, the love that this father shared with his children, his family, his wife, his community, has the power to heal this world.

On Valentine’s Day six years ago, Rev. Don Hubbard, a member of this church and former chaplain at Sparks Hospital, had the honor of officiating the marriage ceremony that celebrated and affirmed the love that Trevor and Penny shared with one another.

It was just a few weeks into their marriage when Trevor was diagnosed with cancer. Penny has said that “cancer was their marriage.” Thus, there are probably some, some who do not know any better, who would say: “What a tragic and heartbreaking marriage.” However, what they failed to factor in, and Penny will testify to this, is the power of love.

The diagnosis was grim. Of all people, Dr. Hodge knew it. Understandably, his first thoughts were to concede to the inevitability of it.

However, the love that Penny and Trevor had, that was affirmed weeks earlier during their wedding, does not concede.

For they affirmed the love that the Apostle Paul wrote about in the scripture that Rev. Hubbard read at their wedding from 1 Corinthians 13.

“If I speak in the tongues of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”

In a dark world, where even religious voices can be among the most hate-filled voices, by loving others the way Trevor Hodge loved others, we have the blessed opportunity to be a shining beacon of love that has the power to change the world.

The Apostle continues…

Love is patient.  

Love is in it for the long-haul. It never quits. It doesn’t give up, give in or give out. Love is unrelenting, dedicated, and determined. Even when it would take Dr. Hodge two and a half hours to get dressed, and that’s with Penny’s help; even when he could no longer walk, it was a persistent, persevering, and patient love that got him to his office.

Love is kind.

Rev. Hubbard says that anytime he ever conversed with Dr. Hodge, whether it was about the chaplaincy and pastoral care, which Dr. Hodge believed wholeheartedly in, his grandfather, philosophy, fishing, fishing lures, literature, religion or politics, he noticed that Dr. Hodge always wore this half-smile on his face that exuded kindness, a kindness that it soothes all pain and heals all wounds. It shelters and protects.

Thus, it shouldn’t surprise us when we discovered that Trevor kept most of his pain private. He never wanted to bring pain to another, especially the ones he loved.

Love is not envious or boastful. It is not arrogant or rude.

Thirteenth century German theologian and philosopher Meister Eckhart is often credited with the following quote: “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ that will be enough.”

I believe it is enough, because I believe that this simple prayer indicates that one understands that all of life is a free gift of God’s amazing grace.

I believe there are basically two types of people in this world: People who get the concept of grace and people who don’t get it. People who fail to see the grace of it all are usually not what we call “nice” people. They are boastful and rude. They act as if they have somehow earned their life, done something to deserve it. They walk around with this air that the world owes them something. In their arrogance, they become hostile if life does not go their way. After all, they deserve better.

Then there are those like Trevor Hodge who get it, who truly understand the sheer grace of it all. They understand that all of life is gift. It is unearned and undeserved. It is mysteriously and utterly precious. And these are the ones we generally call “nice” people or “gracious people.”

Love doesn’t insist on its own way.

It is flexible, pliable, and sensitive. It cares for others more than self. It is never “me first.” It is always willing to change courses, take another path, choose another way to love and help others.

One day, walking in Queens, New York when he was young, Trevor’s life changed forever. A student of drama and English literature, medical school was nowhere in Trevor’s future. As he was walking along, he heard this terrible commotion behind him. When he turned around, he saw a man, the victim of a horrific stabbing, lying on the ground, bleeding to death. Trevor said he had never felt more helpless in his life. In that moment, he promised God and himself that he would never be helpless in a situation like that again. He soon enrolled in medical school and never looked back. Even near the end of his life, Trevor’s concern was always for others, his patients, his family and his community.

Love is not irritable or resentful.

It isn’t touchy or cold. It isn’t easily offended, indignant or bitter. It is good-humored, warm and hospitable. It never complains.

And if anyone had any reason to complain it was Trevor. To work as hard as he worked, to care for others as much as he cared for others, without the opportunity to enjoy a well-earned retirement, would make even the sweetest personality bitter. The truth is: a diagnosis like Trevor’s changes most people for the worse.

But not Trevor. Trevor remained grateful for the gift of every day, no matter how difficult that day was. That half-smile he wore as he visited with you never diminished.

Trevor loved to tease and had a great sense of humor. Dr. Auturo Meade, a doctor here from Mexico, remembers Trevor incessantly bragging on his children. “He was so proud of his kids,” Dr. Meade says. “But he was especially proud when his daughter made a movie for one of her classes, a Mexican film that featured Mexican bandits. He was always coming up to me telling me I needed to see this film she made about some bandits from Mexico.”

Love does not keep account of mistakes.

It doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. It doesn’t “Love the sinner, but hate the sin.” It never thinks: “I am better than he” or “I am more holy than she.” It never judges, condemns, or discriminates.

People like Trevor who truly understand the grace of it all, that life itself is gift, are the first to extend grace to others.

Love is truthful.

It isn’t perfect, but it’s honest. It’s real. It’s authentic. And it’s all the more forgiving, all the more gracious, because of that.

More than one person has told me that they did not know of a pretentious bone in Trevor’s body. Unlike some with the intellect and talent of Dr. Hodge, he never made anyone feel that they were less human than he. John Mundy, a respiratory therapist said: “Whenever I saw him at the hospital, he would always talk to me as if I was his equal. He was always easy to relate to, and he never met a stranger.” I believe that his humanity enabled him to do something that is lacking in our country today—to truly empathize with others.

Love bears all things.

It is courageous and generous. It is self-expending and sacrificial. It bends over backwards. It is always willing to go out of its way, take an extra step, even walk an extra mile.

In a fight like the one Trevor had with cancer, many would have thrown in the towel years ago. But Trevor had brave, self-denying love in his corner, which helped him, in the words of the Apostle Paul, to fight a good fight. When we have love in our corner, there is no mountain we can’t climb.

Love believes all things.

It always looks for the good, for the very best in the other or the situation, even if that best is sometimes buried deeply or covered completely. It is positive and encouraging.

Although he was sick, every day was a gift. Although he was weak, every moment was grace. In the end, Trevor did not have the life that he expected, but he was very grateful for the life that he had. Perhaps that is why Trevor always told us he was ok, because to Trevor, he was always ok. No matter the situation, he was always blessed.

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, and no fading of its hope.

Love can outlast anything. It can not be silenced. It can never be defeated. Love always wins. It still stands when all else has fallen.

Love reveals how powerless an enemy as formidable as cancer truly is. Just when we are tempted to believe that there is nothing that cancer cannot destroy, we meet a man like Dr. Trevor Hodge, and we learn with the anonymous author of the following words that there are many things that cancer cannot do.

Cancer cannot cripple love.

It cannot shatter hope.

It cannot corrode faith.

It cannot eat away peace.

It cannot destroy confidence.

It cannot kill friendship.

It cannot shut out memories.

It cannot silence courage.

It cannot invade the soul.

It cannot reduce eternal life.

It cannot quench the Spirit.

It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection.

And the good news is that there is nothing that love cannot do. Love can change everything.

Love can transform sorrow into joy, despair into hope and death into life.

Love—unconditional, unreserved, unrelenting love—can transform six, tragic, heart-breaking years of marriage with cancer into six amazing, heart-fulfilling years of marital bliss.

Love can transform a funeral service into a service of celebration

Love can heal a broken world.

Love can bring down walls and break chains.

Love can cause hate, violence, racism and all kinds of bigotry to pass away and all of creation to be born again.

So, thank you for being here today. Because of the life of Dr. Trevor Hodge, because of what we are going to do in this world to remember and celebrate his life, there is hope for us all.